It’s late and I’ve been reading too many dry, academic papers. Maybe that’s why I find the Tranzizzle feature of Gizoogle so funny right now. Here’s a recent blog post from this site, translated. I think it vastly improves my writing:
Waitin fo’ tha subway below tha Gangsta Museum of Natural History here up in New York is pimped outly improved by tha mosaics of extinct n’ extant muthafuckas dat line tha station walls. Da installation was pimped by tha Arts fo’ Transit Collaboratizzle n’ is titled For Want of a Nail, up in reference ta tha lil’ small-ass chizzlez dat can ultimately be of big-ass import cuz of tha interconnectednizz of all thugz of a ecosystem. Da last time I was there, I snapped dis photo of a thugged-out dwarf lemur.
Da extant thugz of genus Cheirogaleus is all non-threatened, unlike nuff of tha less fortunate, larger Malagasy lemurs. Well shiiiit, it is ghon be a fucked up dizzle when tha mosaics depict muthafuckas dat have gone extinct since tha subway art was installed up in 2000.
It will be a fucked up dizzle indeed.
I entered into science after the era of mouth pipetting, the lab technique for transferring liquids—be they toxic, infections, or radioactive—in the same way a kid might move around chocolate milk with a straw while bored at Friendly’s. Thus in my day it’s always been a punchline about poor safety standards of previous eras. We keep this sign posted, regardless:
This Discover Magazine blog post recounts the history of mouth pipetting, which unfortunately is still prevalent both outside of the U.S. and within.
For more upsetting, albeit fictional pipetting misuse, be sure to check out the new Tumblr, That’s Not How You Pipette. It of course features my all-time favorite cinematic misuse of a pipette, from Avatar:
There are many great pull quotes from Ben Ewen-Campen’s interview with Jon Sanders entitled, “Making snail smoothies in Hell.” This one should entice you to read the Sick Papes post in its entirety:
Basically you get life when you take high energy electrons from an electron donor, extract that energy by moving them to a lower energy state in an electron acceptor, and use the liberated energy to self-organize matter in a way that temporarily contravenes God’s obvious thermodynamic will for the universe to become an undifferentiated soup of entropy.